How to Defeat Negative Thoughts

Happy Mindfulness Monday!

Defeating negative thoughts has been the number one life-changing practice I have adopted in the past 5 years. Seriously. Without it, I would not be where I am today.

I’m not a big fan of “distracting” myself from negative thoughts, the video’s first tactic, but I sure am great at combating them! In the summer of 2016 I was recently single and incredibly lonely. I had just moved to Baltimore, MD and had very few, if any friends.

One day I was driving around town and had a thought: You are going to end up single and unmarried. Unloved. Alone. The thought felt like someone had poured acid on my exposed heart. My eyes stung with tears and my heart throbbed. For several minutes I internalized this thought. I figured that this thought was a premonition of the future, that it was true.

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Then graciously, a quiet still voice said: This is not true. These words cut through the gloom for one moment and I felt immediately peaceful and still. I realized in this moment, that I did not have to believe a thought that I didn’t fundamentally believe in, that I didn’t want to be real.

In that moment, I defended myself and combated the negative thought by saying: I am an incredibly desirable woman and I will find a man that will love me more than I could ever imagine.

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Like the weirdo I am, I repeated the words out loud in my car over and over again. Each time with incredible gusto and a surge of power and authority. To anyone looking at me as they were driving, they’d think I was singing along to a death metal song or scream-o. It was that real.

Once I had stopped, I felt a surge of love and joy and happiness in my breast. I had fought the beast of negative thinking and had won! I realized then, that if I could just notice when I was thinking negative thoughts and re-write them, that I could create a better life for myself.

From that moment onward, I have only been in positive, life-affirming, healthy relationships with men who value me deeply as a person. My reality is directly related to my refusal to believe in a thought I did not choose. If I didn’t fight my negative thought I’m confident I would not have the love life I have today.

What negative thoughts do you have? Have you thought about combating them?